Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
