Can i not drive my cunt home
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
