I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
