the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
