Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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