so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
