okay pat passed out under dana's car
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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