I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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