mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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