I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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