you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
