Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
