bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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