hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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