Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
