Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
