I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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