You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
