So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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