Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(315): View more from New York

he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out

(607): View more from New York

what a beautiful fairy tale

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(201): View more from New Jersey

bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems

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(618): View more from Illinois

In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.

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(360): View more from Washington

Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"

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(337): View more from Louisiana

There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.

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(636): View more from Missouri

The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'

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(217): View more from Illinois

Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"

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(864): View more from South Carolina

Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.

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(828): View more from North Carolina

You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.

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