Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
