Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
