Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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