Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
