At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
false alarm. still invincible.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Randomize
