Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
