Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Randomize
