I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
