Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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