we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
