The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
