On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
thus making me awesome and them whores
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize