Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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