I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
