omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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