You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
