wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
