i just wanna soil my oats bro
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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