Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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