No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Just pee around me
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Randomize
