Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
