remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
