Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
