If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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