remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Randomize
