carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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