Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
The power of my boobs compel you
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
