I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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