I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
