i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
